Archive for the Critique Category

Wertwoo: New K Word

Posted in Comedy, Critique on March 5, 2012 by klogtheblog

Wertwoo: Anything signaling cloyingly-cute or overly-quirky comedy. The word is onomatopoeic in origin, suggesting the comical flute music played in old school comedy or the humorous closing of a Star Trek episode. It’s usually adjectival, but can also be used as a verb. Hell, make it a noun if you like. It’s a friggin’ made up word, after all.

–Dan Kilian

The Least Exorcism

Wretched

Live Blogging The Oscars

Posted in Comedy, Critique on February 27, 2012 by klogtheblog

Eddie Murphy looks terrible.

Oh it’s Billy Crystal! Some jokes about how he’s too old for that hot young demographic that I guess Eddie Murphy captured? Maybe the kids all have sweet memories of The Klumps?

Recycled George Clooney gay shtick, rote “I’m interacting with the movies” business, and the orchestra’s too loud for the song. I guess we can’t blame Billy Crystal for anything. He’s a good sport to do it again at the last minute, and we’re all good sports for watching!

Will Scorsese sweep the consolation prizes?

J-Lo and C-Daz have fun with their asses.

Interviews with actors explaining what it’s like to go to the movies. Inspired to write future blogs titled “What It’s Like To Watch TV” and  “What It’s Like To Sit Down At A Computer.”

Iranian guy: Please don’t bomb my country! We make movies too!

Christopher Plummer does a nice old guy speech.

What, you can have Circe d’Soleil, but no muppets singing? I guess they didn’t want to have to have someone sing that other song. Beyonce just had a baby, after all.

Meryl Streep just seems like a nice person, and the mother of us all.

Moby mocks Angelina’s leg.

France wins! Gooood dog!

That’s it.

To sum up: We’re all good sports.

–Dan Kilian

Live Blogging The Oscars 2010

Live Blogging the Oscars 2009

Attention Ladies:

Posted in Comedy, Critique on September 9, 2011 by klogtheblog

Regarding eyebrow-tweezing, please exercise some restraint.  While it is certainly fine to pluck the odd errant hair, there is no call to get obsessive about your eyebrows.  Taken in the abstract, eyebrows are fairly disgusting things:  a row of bristles, the purpose of which is to prevent secretions from the flesh skull-covering above from dripping into the seeping gelatinous light-traps that typically occur below.  And don’t get me started on the nose – a mucus- and hair-lined tube for filtering solids from the air – yeesh.  The human head in general is really a mass of sensor pods of varying degrees of repulsiveness, prone to discharges both thick and runny, a gnashing mass of orifices emanating sounds which should drive any thinking person completely insane.  So if your eyebrow is not quite arched the way you’d like it, it doesn’t really matter.  That’s like saying the maggots on a rotting goat aren’t lined up quite right.  It’s simply not material.  So relax.

–Steve Kilian

Post-Season

The House of Wrongs

The Equation

Posted in Art, Comedy, Critique on May 18, 2011 by klogtheblog

–Steve Kilian

Dropping Science

Project Run For Your Lives

Letter To Liam Neeson

Posted in Comedy, Critique on April 21, 2011 by klogtheblog

Dear Liam Neeson:

Did you get to keep that awesome axe you wielded in Krull?  Also, I think you should grow back your beard like it was in Krull.  What was your favorite movie to film?  Was it Krull?  Was it hard to have there be two suns in the outdoor scenes of Krull?

You are an excellent actor.  I would have been afraid of the cyclops.

Your Fan,

–Steve Kilian

Hard Case

The Friends of Greta

New K Word: Chernobylesque

Posted in All things political, Critique on April 13, 2011 by klogtheblog

Chernobylesque: LikeChernobyl. It’s all too clear why we need the word Chernobylesque, but maybe one day it’ll be about someone’s nasty temper.

–Dan Kilian

Montanapocalypse

End of Conflict II: The Squid & Whale Tattoo

linKs 4/6/11

Posted in All things music, All things political, Comedy, Critique, Fiction on April 6, 2011 by klogtheblog

Here are some enjoyable little linKs

Star Wars VII: Yet Another New Hope

Zombie Octopus Island II

Baseball is BACK! So are Stevie and Hammy of http://www.atlantabaseballtalk.com/

Obama Jokes

Lucky The Third Time: The Obama Doctrine

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/60-completely-unusable-stock-photos

Mid East Roundup (or Round Down)

http://www.shadyurl.com/ Make your own suspicious looking links! Thanks Billy!

http://lmgtfy.com/ Let Me Google That For You. For those people who are too important to look up a link. Thanks Nina!

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