Steve Helps Me With My Script

Editor’s note: I’m currently co-writing the script for a musical about campaign financing. Ran what we’ve got by some friends and Steve suggested the following musical number.

Senator Strombach’s chest explodes as an interdimensional rift opens and allows a giant claw to erupt from his sternum.

*

SENATOR STROMBACH

A claw!

A claw!

From my chest has burst a clapping snapping claw!

It rips and tears and makes of meat a fleshy slaw!

A claw!

A CLAAAAAW!

*

IMPERIAL MARINE

Bring to me my gun

Not the small but the larger one

Make sure it’s full of ammuniti-on

I must defend this plane – the only human one

*

SCIENTIST

What’s that you say?  Perhaps you’re right!

My focus on this item has blinded larger sight

Humans only exist in this single universe

To think anything else would simply be perverse!

And if we are truly utterly alone

Then it’s OK to do the thing I thought should never be done

So fire it up! Release the beast!

I’ll get the Medal of Honor or a Nobel Prize at least

The time has come!

Engaaaaaage

Engaaaaaaaaaage

Engaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaage

The Vorticolion Deviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!

*

CHOIR

Vorticolion Deviiiiiiiice!

Zzzzcrkkkaaaaakkle

Zzzzcrkkkaaaaakkle

Zzzzcrkkkaaaaakkle

Zzzzcrkkkaaaaakkle

KABOOM!

*

*

I am so fucking good at this!  Really, this is so easy I don’t see why you need any help.  But if need be I’m here.

–Steve Kilian

Escalation

The Equation

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