Bring Back The Monday Night Drunk

Just a little wine with dinner. Can I check your wine list? No, you don’t have a wine list? What, is it on the menu? What, you don’t serve food? Okay, then I’ll have some potato chips. And a beer. Less alcohol, won’t make me sleepy. Can you believe they don’t serve food here? Yeah, potato chips. Better than the last place. I’ve got one. Got to have a base, right? Want a chip? Suit yourself.

Yes, another, please! You know what this place needs, besides a menu and a wine list? A big jar of pickled eggs. Man, they had those in Louisville and when you were drunk enough, you’d eat one of those things! Nasty! I could go for one right now.

Jesus did work suck today. Literally suck, like a vampire, all your energy, all your blood. This was going to be a big week, but no, it’s already over. It’s those bitches in Human Resources*, they make everything three times as hard as it needs to be. And the meetings! Shoot me in the head and stab me!

Yes, please! And let’s have a shot! Bourbon. You work? Yeah? You work tomorrow? Just asking, because it’s a school night. Kind of hate that expression, really. What are we, gonna pretend we’re little kids until we die? Personally I’d rather fight off a hangover at work than at home. Got to get going, get your blood flowing, instead of lying around in a pool of gross.

Still, I’m usually not out this early in the week. Got a friend in a band playing tonight, just killing a little time, getting some dinner before the show. You want to go check out a band? They’re   probably not that good, if they can’t swing a weekend. How about a chip? Okay. Hey what time is it, anyway? Ah shit. They’re already done. You want to see some other band? You never know, right? I’m pretty amped up.

Hey, can I have some more chips? And another shot. You want some chips? A shot? What are you, on a diet?

Thank you! I’ll have one more! This is gonna be the best week ever!

–Dan Kilian

* This is a piece of fiction. I work at a job with the nicest Human Resources team in the world.

This was the program from The Ks performance at Pianos on 9-26-11. The video is from a Local 269 performance earlier in the year.

No Other Place

Peace

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