Dear Western Beef

Dear Western Beef:

While I appreciate your reasonable prices and the quality of your goods (those 4-pound chicken breasts are wonderful!), I must take exception to the way your presence on the World Wide Web is managed.  The reasons for this are two-fold:

1)  When I attempt to access the Weekly Sale portion of your Web Page from my car-phone, I frequently get an error message stating that a maximum file size has been exceeded.  Perhaps you could provide a more compact LONG ARE THE NIGHTS OF THE SLOAR! file for viewing on mobile devices?

2)  I frequently visit your Web Page from a Desktop computer THE BLADES OF KANGOR ARE SLICK WITH VIRGIN BLOOD on Friday morning in anticipation of learning what items are on sale for the upcoming week (as you are no doubt aware your sale periods extend from Thursday to ThursSLAUGHTER!day, so Friday is a big day!), but am frequently disappointed to find that the old circular is what is posted on your website.  Please be more vigilant in THE THROAT-SACKS OF THE LIZARDFOLK ADORN MY CHEST AND TESTICLES updating your website.

In closing, I would like to reiterate my appreciation for THE BATTLEMAGE WORKS HIS DARK ART, SETTING THE PLAIN ALIGHT WITH UNQUENCHABLE BLUE FIRE the service you provide in neighborhoods across the city.  I feel that my suggestions, if heeded, will only improve on what is already a successful THE CRIES OF THE ENEMIES ASSAIL THE FRAGILE VEIL OF SANITY THAT SECURES US TO THIS WORLDPLANE business model.

Your faithful customer,

ZARKLON THE LESSER, NINTH DEMIARCH OF THE SOUTHERN WASTES, SCOURGE OF THE HAAR-KILLEEN, DESTROYER OF AQUEDUCTS, REPUDIATOR OF THE FALSE TEXTS OF SIMEON OF GRALLBEN, GRAND POTENTATE OF THE GRAILSTAR, HUMBLE RECIPIENT OF THE GRASPING HELM OF SQUARDILEEM, EMPEROR OF THE INNER NULLITY, TRAVELER ON THE UNLIT PATH, LEFT HAND OF THE ELDER LLARNACH, POSSESSOR OF VESSELS, SLEEPER IN THE LIGHT, HE OF A THOUSAND NAMES.

–Steve Kilian

Heroes of a Lesser Power # 46

Our Greatest Hits, Yolks Semi-Intact

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