ARCADE FIRE HIPSTER ATTACK Thanks Aud!
“Flame is a tool as powerful as the blade or the horse. But unlike a weapon which is grasped firmly in the hand, flame, once released, will not obey commands. It is a treacherous regiment to be sure. And yet there are times when those unfaithful soldiers must be put to the field.” With that he lowered the torch to the kindling that had been stacked around a cracked and brittle tree, long dead, held upright only by the healthy limbs surrounding it. Soon the forest was an orange riot of exploding crowns.
By this light we waited for them to come forth in ragged black, their substance no more than silhouettes.
Take in a mouthful of delicious tiger meat. I bet you thought it would be gamey, didn’t you? No, we know how to cook tiger. Take off your shoes, and walk barefoot on our luxurious, freshly cured tiger-skin carpet. Feels good, doesn’t it? Please try not to walk on it with shoes; this is a rare item, not to be covered in muck. You see, we don’t just hate tigers, we appreciate them as well.
Now imagine that mouthful of meat was the last taste anyone in the world would ever have of tiger meat again? Wouldn’t knowing that make you savor the taste? Wouldn’t that unique experience make that the best food you’ve ever eaten? It would probably depend on how it is cooked.
The members of the Tiger Eradication Gourmet Society are dedicated to the idea that the last tiger should be cooked with the utmost of professionalism and culinary expertise. We want it to taste as good as the moment dictates. We believe the last tiger will be killed within our lifetime, and we want to do it right.
You see, while we hate tigers, and seek to destroy them, we also respect them, and want them to be enjoyed while they exist, until they don’t. Extinction is inevitable, and imminent. Enjoyment takes effort, and we are willing to make that effort, so that when the last of these great beasts is finally hunted down, it shall be a moment of deliciousness and not loss. Ultimately, we act out of love, not hate; not hunger for destruction, but hunger for food. So eat up, and enjoy while you can.
Editor’s note: This was the program for The Ks latest show, on February 4th, 2011.
Steve talks about Shoelaces
David Byrne: How Architecture Helped Music Evolve
I review The Rite. Hey, I had Thursday off! The Rong
Ted Leo and the Pharmacists Bottled In Cork
Enough for now!
The Rite could have been closer to decent if they’d just cut off the first 45 minutes. There’s this Priest played by some guy who looks like Martin Landau’s face stretched over Freddie Prinze Jr.’s skull. He’s a seminarian who wants to quit for lack of faith. So there’s a couple scenes with the guy who played Truman Capote in the english version of the Truman Capote story (I believe he was also the “psychologist” sent in to talk Arnold Schwarzenegger down in Total Recall. The one who sweated.) I think his specialty is delivering unbelievable dialogue with credibility. He sends our bland skeptic to Rome, where the guy who plays Snapes has a couple scenes before he sends him to Anthony Hopkins. That’s two well acted priests too much. The whole thing could have started at Anthony Hopkins front porch.
There are also countless flashbacks within flashbacks to LandauPrinze’s unhappy childhood, just so the devil can know stuff he’s not supposed to know.
Hopkins is always fun to watch, and he holds up this dog for a good twenty minutes. When he gets possessed, there’s a couple scenes of LandauPrinze and this girl journalist trying to get hold of the Snapesguy, so it’s like, cool, Snapesguy and Hopkins in an exorcism scene, but no, that’s just another time waster, and LandauPrinze has to perform the exorcism himself.
Prayer prayer snarled revelation of stuff Anthony Hopkins isn’t supposed to know, prayer prayer exorcism. And it turns out it’s all a true story, which of course means that none of it is true.
This was the introduction to Friday nights show at The Local 269.
From Arthur Kingsley’s Wild Delicacies of the Subcontinent: Field Cuisine of the British Raj, Oxford Press, 1878.
Simple Roast Tiger
One juvenile tiger, gutted and skinned
2 pounds Spanish onions
Assorted fresh herbs – thyme, coriander, and/or curry leaf
Rub carcass with oil and season liberally with salt and pepper inside and out.
Stuff cavity with onions and herbs. Truss well with heavy wire.
Spit-roast over raked coals until well cooked, 1 to 2 hours, rotating slowly, replenishing fuel as necessary.
Serve hot, with . . . the Ks!
The Tiger Eradication Gourmet Society: T.E.G.S.
Staten Island Muck Ks MC Steve’s third annual take on Groundhog’s day!
Cat adopts a squirrel! I call it a “squat!”
Fealtish: The K Word Also has some thoughts on Joan Jett.
Weird Soviet Psych-Folk. Thanks Rob!