Bad Day at McDonald’s

Here are your fries, and thanks for coming to McDonalds!

Well done Dennis! You’re getting the hang of the front station! I’m glad I made you station manager!

Gee thanks, Mr. Pensington.

So how is the rest of the staff doing?

Oh, their mostly doing pretty okay…except for maybe Stanley…

What’s wrong with Stanley?

Well, he gets the orders right and stuff, and he’s always on time…


Well he…he touches the children.


Yeah, when he’s on his break he goes into the McPlayground and molests the children.

Oh, that’s no good. Let’s move him to the drive-through section.

But won’t he still be able to molest children on his breaks?

You just worry about the front station, Dennis.

A few days later…

Hey Arthur, how are things at the drive-through?

Oh, pretty good, except Stanley keeps molesting children on his break.

That does it! Let’s move him back into the kitchen!

Hey Mister! What the hell is going on here! My kid just said one of you guys “touched him funny!” I want some answers!

Agh! Everybody’s out to get me!

Out to get you? You’ve got a guy molesting children!

Just ONE guy. Most of these McEmployees aren’t molesting anybody!

Well, you’re going to lose your job over this!

Yeah right! This isn’t going to touch me! I’m the General Manager! Good luck trying to take me down!

–Dan Kilian


Back From The Past


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