Abandoned Halloween Costume Ideas

Fail Whale

Using tape and plastic bags, create a vaguely whale shaped blob, then with wires indicate birds hoisting me.

Problem: Too bulky. People who would get would deem it passe. People who don’t twitter would deem it trendy, and stupid.

Barack Obama

A suit and tasteful make-up job, as well as some trimmed Spock ears.

Problem: Don’t actually own a decent suit. “Tasteful” make-up job harder to execute than expected, veering from slightly monstrous to monstrously racist. Ears just look strange. Not as strange as the one they sell at the costume shop.

Tea Bagger

Tea Bags. Obama Hitler sign. Rage.

Problem: Be careful what you pretend to be. Depressingly dutiful accolades from liberals. Confused camaraderie from some lost conservative.

Coraline Dad

Big buttons over eyes. Would totally be creepy.

Problem: Blind for the night.

Evil Refrigerator

Cardboard, white paper, carefully sliced take out containers, velcro, photos of rotting food, drawings as if by some frightened grandchild, Some sort of fake neck. The outside has two panels covered with scared grandchild drawings. One of the drawings is a family portrait including grandma, whose head is mine. Open velcroed panels and inside the fridge is rotten food containers, and inside the freezer is my severed head.

Problem: A little ambitious, and would have to spend the night wearing a cardboard refrigerator.

The Midgard Serpent

Sew together a series of sleeping bags. Have friends run the giant sleeping bag tube through the bar or party, then slowly climb through and then rise up midway screaming “I’ve been eaten by the Midgard Serpent, the giant snake that encircles the world!”

Problems: Again, bulk and ambition. Might get stepped on. Not everyone hip to Viking mythology. Have to fight anyone dressed as Thor.

Radovan Karazic

Beard. Wig. Strange knot.  Dousing rod.

Problems: Pretty obscure. Whole genocide thing’s kind of a bummer.

The Sense of Unease Felt in the Quiet Dark Cornors of the Night.

Black argyle sweater and black jeans. Plastic whistle.

Problem: Whistle might be creepy but the argyle thing might just make it look all Vampire Weekend.

An Actual Weekend for Vampires

Highlighted calender. A dance troupe of vampires. Disco ball on a stick. Vampire DJ.

Problem: Again, too Vampire Weekend. Might prove costly.

Evil Coroner

Fake blood. Lab coat. Blood shooting knife. Actual cracked open human skull. Morgue which transforms into a Satanic Coven worshiping the demons which come for the dead. Pipe organ. Mad priest. Zombie army. Gateway to hell itself. Angels which battle the demons in the final apocalypse. A giant chasm of fire which opens further to reveal a giant satan, able to bestride worlds and freed to consume the cosmos, Glowing light symbolizing God’s mighty power to destroy the infernal Lucifer once the talisman is activated. Some aluminum foil.

Problem: Yes, a little bulky for a night on the town.

Thor

Helmet, beard, hammer

Problem: If someone does come as the Midgard Serpent, you’d have to both fight the snake, and admit that it is by far the better costume.

Dan Kilian

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One Response to “Abandoned Halloween Costume Ideas”

  1. some sleeping bags are waterproof and weatherproof too, they are nice for camping outside the house :”,

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