The Ghost Is Dead But The Corpse Is Still Walking Around

In fact, the body is yet to die. He’s been living in the haunted mansion for fifteen years, and never seen a ghost, until he started haunting himself. It took him a long time to recognize his shade, and it never made a sign that it recognized him. It just howled like a soul in torment, and left strange pale stains on the curtains and the furniture.

The exorcists arrive with a camera crew. It’s as big a production to film the ceremony as to perform it. He can’t tell if they were repeating prayers for ritualistic purposes or to get different angles. He enjoys the attention. The eternal afterlife and the fifteen minutes of fame. Which lasts longer?

The holy water leaves similar, though smaller stains on the furniture. “It is the power of Christ that compels you!” Was the movie accurate or did it influence the ritual? Are these holy men or hacks?

Evidently they’re the real deal because his ghost disappears for good. None of the original ghosts of the Haunted Mansion take his place.

He gets a tape of the show, and watches it when it comes on the Sci-fi channel. The ghost looks fake, and he looks fat. He’s glad to have the ghost gone, but he feels a little empty now.

–Dan Kilian

Men On The Moon

Mark Twain, Karl Marx, and Socrates: At It Again


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