New Photos of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed

New photos of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed (including the shot on the right above) taken at Guantanamo Bay are being used as a recruitment tool for Al Queda.  Somehow the earlier photo from his arrest hadn’t generated the same swoon appeal. Later period shots of Saddam Hussein (A certain Middle Eastern swarthiness and similar facial hair patterns is all that connects these men. This was used as evidence to justify the Iraq war. ) and Khalid should prove to all Middle Easters what we’ve known in the west since the late ’60s; full beards are better than mustaches.

But don’t be fooled potential terrorists! That man, Kalid Sheik Mohammed is a liar! He’s no Mohammed, he’s a lousy Sheik, and I even question his Kalidosity. On top of it all, that’s not even a beard! Since adolescence, KSM has been physically incapable of growing a beard. That’s actually untrimmed chest and back hair, growing up to his face not the other way around. What’s more, that robe is just that same T-shirt, stretched out a little more.

So yes, he looks better. Just remember that it’s all a lie. Also, Bin Laden? You look like a sissy chump since you started dyeing your beard.

I think I’ve said enough to stop terrorism in its tracks. You’re welcome.

–Dan Kilian

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