10 Questions to Stump Sotomayor

Unless you have a complete meltdown, you are going to be confirmed.

–Lindsey Graham at the Sonia Sotomayor confirmation hearings.

That may be true, but it’s not too late, Republicans! Here are some questions that are a sure-fire way to trigger meltdown in the most poised of Supreme Court nominees.

If you had to choose between an immediate member of your family or a white New Haven firefighter perishing in agonizing flames, which would you pick?

FOLLOW UP QUESTION: What do you have against white New Haven firefighters?

If they develop armor piercing bullets made from stem cells, would you be in favor of the procedure?

If the flood of illegal immigrants led to the need for strip searching young Hispanic girls at schools, why would a white male be the best judge of the legality of such searches?

If our brave undercover secret assassination teams need to fool the Al Queda operations they’re infiltrating by speaking in Pig Latin, would you find that racist?

FOLLOW UP QUESTION: An-cay ou-yay understand-ay at-whay I’m-ay aying-say? Was THAT racist?

The Bible says “Judge not, lest ye be judged.” Isn’t everything you do in direct opposition to The Bible?

Is a wise-ass Latina woman snarkier than a wise-ass white man?

Would you be willing to take the “Love Tester” at Murphy’s bar around the corner to prove your empathy?

FOLLOW UP QUESTION: Are you saying we should just throw the test out?

Doesn’t your graduating summa cum laude from Princeton after being a product of affirmative action really overturn any arguments about your intellectual capacity, and isn’t that in itself a form of reverse discrimination?

Can The Constitution make a rock that is too heavy for it to lift?

FOLLOW UP QUESTION: Can The Constitution lift that rock?

FURTHER FOLLOW UP QUESTION: How can The Constitution lift a rock that is too heavy for it to lift?

Aren’t Hispanic voters great?

FOLLOW UP QUESTION: Can you possibly love them as much as me?

FURTHER FOLLOW UP QUESTION: Don’t you think they should reconsider the All New Republicaño Party?

–Dan Kilian

The Supreme Facts on Sotomayor

The Ghost of Nixon Talks To Obama

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2 Responses to “10 Questions to Stump Sotomayor”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    Nice. –Steve E.

  2. Anonymous Says:

    hhahhhahhah

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