Steve’s Fart

Editor’s note: Due to the critical and popular adulation given the recent post Celebrity Farts, we are discontinuing all political satire, culture critique and microfictions and focusing on fart jokes and nothing but. We hope you enjoy the next installment, Steve’s Fart.

Sppluuurt gaaaah Oh jesus fpplellellgggrririrr sweet Christ make it stop blzzzaaarrrrtt oh Bene Gesserit priestess witch flllrrrggaggllll its goathorn splits me! I am slain! gghhuurttaahh Asmodeus I pledge you my soul and I will kiss your nether-eye eagerly if but the pain will stop squaaaaaaawwwlurble Abraham Lincoln gvooowrrrrp Demon Seed was a sweet movie especially when the computer showed the image of the little girl getting electrocuted although it lost some of its luster with that big rubik’s snake in the basement bit, but you’ve got to love that metal baby xxxxaaahhhhhlllll exorcist 3 sucked on the other hand bbbrrapppp there is a scene in The Descent where the one chick kept looking around the corner and you thought one of the chud dudes was going to come out and eat her neck and the camera keeps swooping back and forth horizontally so your entire visual system gets geared to the horizontal motion and then ZANGO a fucking chud dude pops down from overhead and you piss yourself because you didn’t expect it even though you were expecting something – a moment that every student at Horror University should be forced to watch a few time gllllaaaaarrppp I think monkeys can talk but they hide it vvooorrrrgglll Asmodeus? Please? Wand of Orcus! hhuuuurrrg never got into psionics, seemed unnecessary since some characters can already cast spells jjjkkklllllgggg if I had to pick an alignment I guess I’d be either chaotic evil or neutral evil ggvvdddd still think ampersonde with umlauts on every vowel is an excellent metal band name gloooorrpp happy May Day!

–Steve Kilian
—————————————- Celebrity Farts
—————————————- Löadhammer


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