Archive for April 16, 2009

James Bond’s Bad Day

Posted in Fiction on April 16, 2009 by klogtheblog

He lost at blackjack. Also, he wasn’t a spy. He was a telemarketer. What the bleedin’ ‘ell? What what? ‘e’s a cockney!

He saw a beautiful woman at the bar. He ordered a drink.

“Three pounds? A bit much eh? A ‘igh figure, what what! I much prefer your figure ‘oney.”

“Piss off!”

“What what?”

What had happened? Why was he losing at cards? Why wasn’t he pulling the ladies? And why, for the love of God, wasn’t he an international spy? And what had happened to Spectre? It was all Arab terrorists and Pirates.

“Stupid Pakis.”

“Racist pig!”

“Fuck off, ya bloody Paki lover!”

“Fuck you.”

“I’ll have a Vesper. Shaken not stirred.” He paid for the drink and took a sip. Nasty. Back to pints after this.

He worked his James Bond magic on a few more of the ladies with the same result. Ended up chatting with some old drunks at the bar. Must be under deep cover.

He got thrown out of the bar for fighting. At least he still knew his martial arts.

He staggered home. Threw up.

–Dan Kilian

Michael J. Fox’s Bad Day

Fab Facts about The Beatles Rock Band Game