Freddy vs. Wishmaster

Your evil deeds are making people forget to fear me! You must be destroyed!

Do you wish to do battle?

No! That’s some sort of wish thing!

Do you wish you could see me try to destroy you?

Of course not!

Not even…sarcastically?

No!

Well, do you want to wish for anything?

Can I wish for a million wishes?

Would you like that in magic wishing dagger form?

No, incorporeal wishes.

No. You can’t. Anything else?

Nothing!

You wish for…nothing?

No! I don’t wish for anything at all! See, I’m on to your scheme, Wishmaster! Now just you wait! Once you go to sleep and dream, I’ll be there!

I don’t sleep.

What?

I’m a Djinn. We don’t sleep. We just go into a bottle or a lamp or something.

Oh.

Wishing anything?

No!

Oh.

Fuck you!

Do you WISH I would fuck you?

No!

Oh. Well, fuck you too.

Fuck you!

Fuck you.

Fuck YOU!

Yeah, go fuck yourself.

Fuck yourself!

Fuck off!

YOU fuck off!

You wish I would fuck off?

Fuck you!

Fuck you.

Fuck YOU!

Fuck you.

–Dan Kilian
Fake Piranha Repellent

Landing a Job

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