When Will We Find The Bottom?
Houses in North Carolina and Pennsylvania cost as much to build as they do on North Carolina Avenue and Pennsylvania Avenue on the Monopoly board. (And by the way, green is the best monopoly; no one ever lands on Park Place.)
The Obama administration scraps its idea of creating a “bad bank” to absorb toxic assets in favor of an “absolutely horrible, rankly evil bank.”
Homeless guys get their hand-outs capped at twenty-five cents.
People switch back to landlines from cell phones, even when they don’t have a home.
Professional toilet lickers are just happy to have a job.
The Secret Ingredient on Iron Chef is…SHOE!
GM officially goes green when its entire workforce can share the same car for their commute—and living quarters.
Newspapers, publishing houses, refrigerator magnet makers, all industries that spread those confusing and dispiriting “words” are run out of business.
Songs can be bought for a song.
Tom Friedman develops a perfect recycling regime, allowing him to use the same four paragraphs for a column, three T.V. interviews, pillow talk and a book.
New Yorker cartoons featuring a blind guy selling pencils are funny again.
Pickpockets start stealing actual pockets, for the valuable pocket making materials.