Bromance

The terms “Bromance” and “Bromantic” have been in the public radar a good bit these days, with the success of the film I Love You Man and the MTV show Bromance. The term Bromance of course refers to the affection between two heterosexual men as their friendship deepens, a platonic “romance” between “bros” as it were. As we explore the sensitivities of male bonding in our ever more emotionally complex social mores, here are some new terms to keep up with our Bromantic Age.

Bromeo: Some dudes are best-friending every guy they hang out with. Just as when a Romeo sleeps around, acting like you’re everybody’s best friend is a little, well, promiscuous, and can cause strange feeling of resentment and jealousy. Watch out for “Bromeos.”

Brolatio: There’s nothing a dude likes better than oral sex, and let’s face it, any mouth will do. It’s a huge solid to pleasure your bud “brorally,” and mutual blow jobs really bring a couple of friends together, and can be a cushion of consolation should a night cruising chicks go awry.

Bronal Sex: Once you’ve achieved the level of comfort with your pal that you can put your penis in his rectum, you know you guys are getting along well. Do it in the Bud.

Brooning: When you can cuddle naked together, you are a comfortable couple of guys. Of course, such clinches should always end with discomfort, and a quick reference to sports. Then it’s back to a sweet embrace and perhaps eating food off your number one friend!

Bromarriage: There are now five states and counting where you can declare a lifelong commitment to living with your best friend. It’s a little gay, but why not?

–Dan Kilian
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